I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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