I look better un-naked...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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