oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize