please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize