sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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