I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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