Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize