Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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