Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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