Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize