so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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