ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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