Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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