Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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