i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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