Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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