Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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