He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize