WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize