ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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