I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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