Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize