I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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