He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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