It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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