Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Randomize