He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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