you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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