Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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