Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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