Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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