Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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