let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I will be naked everywhere
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize