Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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