We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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