Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize