found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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