i permit you to call me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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