i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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