ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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