ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize