I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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