Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize