No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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