So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He better not be in your backpack
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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