im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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