Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize