Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
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Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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