well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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