im having a threesome with these popsicles
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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