Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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