how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize