she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize